How to change, and make it stick

Be bold for change!

These were the words on the lips of many powerful women in commemoration of the International Women’s Day, just a few weeks ago.

I read many of the write-ups and memes with some level of detachment at first. Then curiosity. And that’s because I strongly believe that it is difficult to push other people to change, it’s hard enough trying to change yourself. So telling someone ‘Change!’ is most times futile.

Yes, you can help someone change. But not by telling them to change. At least if you want true, lasting change.

What works is to sow the seed for change. And making sure that the seed gets enough moisture and nurturing.

How do I mean? A thought, an idea, an image, a discussion, an article, the right movie, even music with the right lyrics – just make sure to point their attention to the lyrics. So they’re not happily jamming to the beats only, lol. These are all seeds for change.

If you have someone in your life who you need to help change, don’t badger them with a constant reminder to change….”you just can’t continue like this”, “you need to change, or else….” Or else what? It never works. This kind of badgering only builds resentment, and rebellion…. “I’m waiting to see you carry out your threat”, or “I quit” kind of reaction.

And this is also useful in marketing, you expose a pain point to a client, then you start to badger them to take your change pill. After some time, they really wonder why it concerns you so much, and may just switch off and become immune to your badgering. Your job really is to keep the pain versus what change looks like in front of them often enough. No more. Don’t nag or badger.

Helping someone change is a subtle process.

No one likes to be overly pushed to do something they aren’t quite ready for, including you. Everyone arrives when they arrive. Let them arrive.

Change management is a well developed practice, probably complete with it’s own body of knowledge. And all of that is very useful especially for organisations.

But in reality, people only truly change if they arrive at that change on their own. Then you don’t have to wonder whether they’ll go back. They have realised the need for the change, and they now own their own change.

I remember my pastor telling a story about how he eventually quit smoking. This gentleman had become born again, but he was still a chain smoker – two conflicting identities. Then he came in contact with the concept of confessions, and he wrote a confession of his new identity in Christ.

So, he would go ahead and confess, but still smoked, after some time what he was confessing eventually took root in his heart, and he stopped smoking of his own accord.

Voila! That’s how to help someone (yourself too) change. Expose them to the image or concept or idea of who you’re trying to help them become (change into) often enough, and it begins to take root. That’s why the bible admonishes to guard your heart (mind) with all diligence. Everything you expose your mind to is a seed, and if you keep at it, it will take root, and you will begin to conform without realising.

Now, this post was really supposed to be about the changes I plan to make on the blog, but has turned out to be about ‘how to change’. Seems like this blogging has become a ministry, so it’s as the spirit leads, hahahaha….

So, to the announcement – Over the next one month or so, I’m going to be settling into a new blogging schedule. I love posting every Friday, and it has sort of become second nature. But, I need the time and energy to finish up a very important project. So, I will be posting a bit less frequently. I’m just willing to explore and settle into a schedule that allows me do some other things. And you bet, the seed for this change was sown over the last couple of weeks. Now, I have arrived and ready to change.

Don’t forget to guard your heart with all diligence!

I’ll miss you too, right! Of course, if you see me ‘drive’ past, holler at your girl….lol.

Hearty Cheers!

Memories…

When the day ends, the year ends, we finally retire, we grow old, the children leave home, memories are what we’ll be left with.

Creating great memories is such an important part of living meaningfully. Great memories with family, friends, even alone often becomes a wealth of warmth and wisdom.

So, what great memories will you create this year?

What interesting things will you do?

What moves will you make?

What new places will you visit?

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Are you ignoring your most important stakeholder?

Hey Friend!

Did you read my last post?

Started experimenting yet?

I’d like to know if you did decide to start an experiment based on that post.

I have said this over and over again, and I think we all know it subconsciously: It’s not really what you know that changes your life, it’s what you do. There is an abundance of ideas thrown at us every day, but it won’t ever matter if we don’t pick out the ones that resonate with us and ‘do’ something with them.

Now, unto today’s matter.

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Learning from experiments

ex‧per‧i‧ment /ɪkˈsperəmənt/ [noun]

  1. a scientific test done to find out how something reacts under certain conditions, or to find out if a particular idea is true
  2. a process in which you test a new idea or method to see if it is useful or effective

My week started out on a high when I published my first e-book on Sunday night (read I exported to pdf, set up for download on my blog and announced on Instagram and Facebook!). It’s 2017 guys, that’s all it takes to become an author! An e-book author! Hahahahaha….

So, I’m an author now! **grinning from ear to ear**

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Much ado about the rat race

#rantalert!

Sigh!

How many times have you seen a or heard a message that makes it clear that you are not supposed to be happy if you’re an employee? You must escape they say. You are in a rat race! Start your own business, so you can be free!

The worrisome thing is that a lot of young people have bought into this. Many refuse to seek a job, wasting precious time on the internet. Some that do, simply pass time at the job, waiting to escape and start their own business. Adding no real value.

See, the so-called rat race has nothing to do with whether you are employed in a 9 – 5 or not.

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